Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Big Black Hole

The black hole in my house is expanding. Not only have I lost my memory card, but Lexi's glasses, and Jackson's tin whistle are missing now. Add those to at least 10 socks, a little green button I've been meaning to sew on Brooklyn's sweater, Jackson's homework, the no spill valve for the yellow sippy cup, Savannah's old Hit Clips toy, the Ariel costume, half a package of cookies, one of Lexi's pink earrings, a flower charm from my anklet, the lid for our ice cream maker, about a dozen Tupperware snack cups, 3 tubes of chapstick, a comb, 2 toy horses, the remote control to the Sesame Street car track, and 3/4 of my memory.

Seriously, where does this stuff go? It's not like my house is so big that stuff could get lost in one of many rooms. Why can't I find these things? I'd love for someone to come up with small, inexpensive homing devices that could be placed on your items. I would certainly put one on my car keys, my camera, Lexi's glasses (you know, the new pair I just ordered for her grr), the comb (that thing always disappears!), my cell phone, and my shoes because for some reason Clay and Brooklyn like to walk around the house in them, leaving them in strange places.

How does stuff like this disappear? I'm left wondering if Brooklyn throws things in the garbage without my knowing. Or maybe Clay plays with things and then leaves them in odd places. Maybe Austin takes them and hides them in his room for kicks. Perhaps burglars break into my house and decide they just can't live without a tin whistle or a green button. Where does everything go???

P.S. I may know where the half a package of cookies went. Shhhh.

94 comments:

  1. All whistles misteriously disappear in my house. ; )

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  2. it's gnomes. they take things from my house, too.

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  3. Perhaps it's the same little green aliens that visit our house to take our things?!?!
    Or maybe stuff really comes to life like in Toy Story and escape out the door when no one is looking?

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  4. I thought that was what the "junk drawer" was for. Don't you have one? I thought everyone did. Mine is in the kitchen, a deep drawer that holds all those things that I just know I am going to need someday. Then, after about 6 months of it just sitting in the drawer with no one touching any of it, I throw it all in the garbage. Then, the next day I find everything that it all related to laying around in a bag in the back of the closet. GRRRRR (cookies don't last long enough around here to ever get "lost" either!

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  5. Your secret's safe with me. :)

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  6. Oh, I want the small homing devices too! For my cell phone, and the kitchen shears, and the nail clippers!

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  7. I had to finally delurk to comment on this one. My oldest son who was about 18 months old lost his first walking pair of shoes in our first apartment, the whole pair, mind you, not just one shoe. Even after we moved I never found those shoes. I can only guess that he threw them in the garbage.

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  8. It's the Borrowers. Certainly you have read that? I haven't, but I saw a movie.

    After sending you a postcard for Austin, I got a "Flat" Katie from my 2nd grade friend in AZ. They are reading Flat Stanley, and sending flat versions of themselves all over. So I have to write a 2nd grade report for my Katie.

    Sigh. I thought I was out of school. I don't have the kids.

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  9. My son likes to "cook" everything so the extra sock, daughter's cell phone, tv clicker and kitchen clock have ended up in various cabinets that are his "ovens".

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  10. Uh, Dawn? Hammacher Schlemmer (IIRC) does make those homing devices. Sort of. In that it's much like the paging device on a cordless phone. Unfortunately, the keyfobs are a bit bulky for things like your daughter's glasses. They would certainly work for your keys and cell phone, though.

    The gadget used to be available through the Delta SkyMall...I'm not having any luck locating it anymore, though. I'll keep looking.

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  11. I think they are all on the floor of my sons' room. Come and get them please.

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  12. LOL! What I love about you is that you get on "paper" what goes on in my head! Thanks!

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  13. This reminds me of that scene in Cheaper By The Dozen 2 where the family discovers the rat's stash of all their lost items. I am sure though you don't have a rat hiding your stuff though! I just wish I knew where all the pacifers in my house went.

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  14. Hmmm, has your husband been eating the cookies and to keep you from noticing that, hide the other items? Just a thought.

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  15. wow you only have 10 socks missing I have a whole laudry baskey full of mismatched socks. I think you are lucky!!!!

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  16. Aha. The one I was remembering had smaller keyfobs, but see?
    http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Find-Remote-Control-Locator/dp/B0000X0YTO

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  17. I don't know if this will help or not but my son lost his glasses and we tore the entire house and still didn't find them. My husband finally found them in the garage on his shop vac - Go figure - the logic of a 7 year old boy.

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  18. I still believe the Bermuda Triangle is in my home. My digital camera and case is hopelessly lost

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  19. I don't have kids, but I know about the black hole. It even followed me on a recent cruise where my husbands green card fell into it. The card later turned up in my wallet (even though we searched through it 50 times). I believe in the sock elf that lives in your dryer and eats socks, as well as the house elf that moves everything you put down to a new location just to make you crazy.
    You will find everything, and of course it will be in the last place you look. It has to be in the last place you look...why would you keep looking after you find it? I always hated that saying. good luck on the scavenger hunt for you lost treasures!

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  20. I seem to suffer from the same syndrome. In our house, when something goes missing, we say, "It's with the X Box remote," one item we lost BEFORE we had kids that seems to have started the trend.

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  21. After one very frustrating morning looking for my car keys (which were, by the way, on my son's dresser in his bedroom??) my dear hubby found a homing device for me!! One side of it goes on my keychain, the other goes in my purse. You can add up to six remotes to this for your cell phone, remote...etc (maybe not the comb though) A set of two remotes is only about $20 at Radio Shack and I've used it enough to pay back the $20 and then some!! I don't know if you could attach it to the glasses but it would make a great threat because it would be SO UNCOOL to have this keychain thing hanging down by your ears!! Maybe if you advertised it on your blog they'd give you one for free...if not, it'd be a great hint for your hubby to get you for Christmas.

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  22. My son use to throw things in the rubbish bin when he was about 2 years old. One day he threw my purse in the bin and I didn't realise it was gone until we went to the shops. I frantically searched for it everywhere at home and finally came to the conclusion that I would have to get a new drivers licence, cancel my credit card etc.... when my husband opened the lid of the garbage bin and found my purse sitting there amongst the apple peelings and pencil shavings. It was at that moment I realised that many things I had lost up until that point had been trashed by my son. And after that I always checked the rubbish bin first for things that went missing. We still have a problem with things disappearing, but not nearly as many as that period when my son was trashing things.

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  23. i remember many years ago, a keychain thingy that beeped and blinked a red light when you clapped or whistled. Surely there must be something like it or more advanced these days.

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  24. If you find your stuff can you come to our house and find our garage door opener???????? for pete sakes, How in the world did we loose a garage door opener. It has a place on the van visor.......

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  25. I have to tell you that I just love your blog, you are absolutely hilarious. I thought I had a black hole for a while too until I discovered my childrens hidey hole for all things tiny, feel free to check it out

    http://thestaabfamily.blogspot.com/2008/02/case-of-missing-toys-solved.html

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  26. found one like i mentioned( the keyfinder keychain)but this is much better ince you can attach it to so many other things.
    maybe you should post an as of them here on your blog,because i can't speak for other moms but i know my memory is going down the tubes and i'm not as great at finding lost thing as I once was.

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  27. oh did i forget to leave the link? sorry, i don't mean to fill up all your comments space. see how forgetful i am ?I go on about a useful item and how you should let others know of it and then i forget to tell you where it is !
    here is the url
    http://www.keyringer.com/

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  28. It's possible I have your chapstick tubes. I have about a dozen in my bathroom. Don't ask me how. I don't know. I think they are reproducing like bunnies in there! :-) At least you didn't lose any marbles....
    Sandra In ABQ*

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  29. Dawn,
    Maybe this is a Sunday Sound Out question...do your kids blame YOU when they lose something they're looking for? Because mine do (and with good reason; being that I have been known to toss things at times, sure) but everytime they can't find that Indiana Jones lego or the wheel to one of their twenty million cars I get the blame! :-)

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  30. HA I have one of those blackholes too!
    Dawn I have to say that I love reading your blog. It makes my day a little easier knowing that I'm not the only mom of a bunch of kids(5) that feels like this!

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  31. If moms could recoup the time we've spent looking for lost things, we would actually have time to work out, scrapbook, and shower on a regular basis.

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  32. When you find out where all your stuff went, will you be able to tell me who set my alarm clock to wake me up so darned early yesterday morning? I worked late the night before, didn't have to be up early for any reason, yet my alarm went off. The dog can't reach it, the cat is more worried about her dish than anything else. I can't believe that I would have gotten up, sleepwalking, and done it (to) myself.
    Also, I agree with the idea of Murphy's law kicking in about the time you get Lexi's new glasses. The old ones will miraculously appear, right out in the open, taunting you.
    Love your blog! Keep it up!

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  33. Hey Dawn thought you might be interested:
    http://www.keyringer.com/

    We have a pack rat at our house that hides things- some never to be seen again. Maybe I should put one of these on everything...as if there things that make obnoxious noises!

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  34. Have you seen the movie "The Borrowers"? Go rent it, it will answer all your questions!

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  35. I can symapthise. We live in small house with 4 kids, and another on the way, and we are forever losing stuff. The combs and brushes are always gone, my 2 year old loves to walk in my shoes, and seems to delight in shoving them all the way under the sofa for me to hunt out. My Tupperware gets used for dirt and mud playing - yay - and my memory has been lost for years. Along with my house keys!
    Isn't parenthood fun :)

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  36. Don't blame the kids. The socks are throwing a party, behind the dryer, for all that stuff that's gone in hiding.

    You'll find Joe's underware, that he didn't know he was missing, behind there too.

    http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

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  37. P.S. You're going to get a lot of comments on this one - more material for another chapter in book 2.

    http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

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  38. This is very simple. Turn the ringer on your phone all the way up. The next time you can't find it, just tell the kids the first one to find the ringing gets a Tootsie Roll, and then call your cell phone on the land line. I guarantee they will be off like a shot to find your phone. Of course, if you don't actually know what the phone number is on your own cell phone, just have the bill handy.

    If this sounds like something that might have happened in my house, more than once perhaps, there are no verifiable witnessess. My children and I have an understanding about candy and their health freak father.

    BTW, I didn't buy the 'missing' package of cookies for an instant.

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  39. It's all buried in your backyard. All of it. Every last missing thing.

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  40. The things are not gone - they just play memory with you....

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  41. My cousin got her first pair of glasses when she was 2, and she kept losing them in the strangest places, like between the mattresses on her bed, behind the books on the shelves, and at the bottom of the clothes hamper.
    Have you checked there?
    I have made one observation, we began losing things about the same time that our oldest son started walking.
    Coincidence?
    I think not!
    Several years ago, we noticed that a bunch of canned food was missing from the kitchen. It seemed like the amount of cans were fewer every day. I couldn't figure out where they were all going until I found a huge stash of cans under my two year old daughters bed.
    She took cake mixes too.
    Hey, if you ever find the place where all your stuff is, would you check to see if any of our spoons are there? We seem to be missing a few.
    http://andimeanit.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-did-it-go.html

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  42. you know the best place to check...... the bottom of the toy boxes, I am surprised at the amount of things which have been missing that I have found there or better still I check my 4 year old daughters drawer she seems to be part bower bird and collect everything that she finds lol. That is the first place her siblings check for their missing belongings

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  43. Hey! Just how BIG is your black hole?

    I'm thinking that maybe it has extended over to my house, 'cause I'm missin' some socks, and a coat, a lunch box and a pair of keys - and that's just in the last 20 minutes.

    Not dust though. I still have lots and lots of that.

    Darn...it must be a SELECTIVE hole, don't you think?

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  44. I even lose my patience, sometimes!
    Regarding socks, my children get some separeted, maybe we could match some together?
    Sometimes, I wonder wether you're not speaking about MY family!
    catherine

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  45. Hmmmmm...I'm connecting this blog with the one you wrote about the car inventory.....

    could the stuff.....nah..only in my car would everything be under the front seat!
    KC

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  46. with two small children, i've always thought of inventing a homing device for sippy cups... every meal is a 10 minute search, looking EVERYWHERE for two sippy cups!! gee... i can't wait til they're bigger and have much more stuff to lose. :o)

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  47. Those homing devices are only good if you don't let the batteries run out. Trust me.

    And as for stuff disappering? Years ago I was wondering where all the plastic baby spoons were hiding. As I sat and watched my youngest son throw his empty yoghurt container AND spoon in the bin, I found the answer.

    Hopefully your missing stuff comes out of hiding.

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  48. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I think I've seen that on a t-shirt, but it's oh-so-true.

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  49. Hi Dawn, I wear reading glasses and when I buy them from the dollor store I always buy about five pairs. Do you think I can even find one pair? Where the heck do they go? I also checked out that Key ringer device but it looks like that could be lost just as easy as my keys. Kristine in Michiagn.

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  50. Oh, just check under your kids beds I guess, after seeing pictures of their room.

    I used to throw things out of the the window.

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  51. Our four are now teenagers and it's not that they have fewer missing things it's just that I don't worry about them so much. The thing that gets me now is when I'm tidying up something and find an object that I have no idea how it got IN my house. When questioned, they use the same answer as when they were little: "Who lost the whatever (then)/Where did this whatever come from (now)?" "I don't know. Not me."

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  52. I have to say I love the "Arthur" episode on PBS where the dogs play the "sock market." It was the perfect explanation for all those missing socks. Too funny! Thanks for the laughs, Dawn!

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  53. I can relate to this completely. My 2 year old loves to hide things in the strangest places. It's nothing to find the TV remote or her sister's homework in the refrigerator! And the obsession with the microwave - anything and everything can be found in there. And she wears glasses - now that's challenging for a 2 year old. We lose them on a daily basis!

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  54. Okay here's my theory....When you are "looking" for something it inevitably disappears. So just stop looking or look for something else. Or go out a buy a replacement and you will find the lost item. My friend claims that she will just ask God where the item is and he shows it to her. Not convinced of this yet as it has not worked in my house.
    Happy Valentine's Day!
    Oh I just thought of a question for Sunday...What is the worst Valentine's present you received from your hubby?

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  55. You know they do make tracking things for some of those items. It's like a remote control finder. You place little sticker type things on them and then there's the button you push to find them. Of course you have to know where the button is to push first though.

    In my case I do usually check the trash as my 2 1/2 almost 3 year old likes to throw things away on me. I have found in there his toy guitar, his sisters bottles, her toys, and several items of clothing.

    As for the cookies go I can imagine where they went even if they weren't on top of the fridge in the cookie jar.

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  56. Dawn--
    you need this
    http://tinyurl.com/27denw

    Dawn

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  57. Ha! I have a friend who couldn't find her cell phone all evening and in the morning found it ZIPPED UP in her one year old's pajamas. . .

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  58. Hey Dawn,
    My 3 year old has a "covey" at pre-school, and so he thought it would be nice to have one at home - but didn't tell me where it was.... So when I asked for things, he would say "its in my covey". I finally found his covey - and there were lots of interesting things in there that had been missing, but I have yet to find my stapler (my work stapler that is on my desk) - it vanished 3 months ago... probably at the bottom of a land fill now...
    I just love starting my day with your blog!!!
    Pam (Seattle)

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  59. It's not a black hole; you have an elf. Black holes suck time, elves "borrow" stuff. The reason I believe its an elf is because I bet now that you've listed all the missing items, some will start to resurface. Elves do return things for the most part eventually (but after you stop looking for them and give up).
    If nothing in your missing list resurfaces anytime soon, then you may have a black hole (though I still believe black holes stick strictly to sucking time, but you may have a new improved version).

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  60. It's the Underpants Gnomes. In the off season, they switch to socks and various other items. They're selling it all on eBay to raise money for the giant statue of the Roaming Gnome they want to put in their town square. He's their hero. Yeah.

    Except the cookies. Gnomes are allergic to cookies.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  61. I swear it is the swiping monsters. I have lots of them here at my house. I used to think my wsahing machine ate our socks. How does everythign disappear. I am currently searching for my girls's aqua doodle mat. It is not that small so how did they lose it? Good luck finding everything.

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  62. You are hysterical! I love your blog!

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  63. I've been meaning to tell you about a website that is great.
    Go to zennioptical.com and check out their glasses. The prices are great (as low as $8 a pair) and if you can get Lexi's subscription it would be a great place to order a back-up pair.
    My boyfriend has broke his glasses 3 times in the last year so the last time we ordered we got 3 pairs. They really do a great job.

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  64. It's a conspiracy! The "stuff monster" has been wreaking havoc at my house, too!

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  65. my son's coveted light up Spiderman shoes were missing for a month. We found them, in his room of course, in his SISTER'S toy basket that she never touches. Why they ended up in there I'll never know, but he's glad to have them back.

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  66. Aliens. It's always aliens. They suck up all that stuff into their ufo's and keep it for science experiments.

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  67. Here's a link to those locator thingies: http://www.brookstone.com/store/product.asp?product_code=360792&search_type=search&search_words=locator&prodtemp=t2&cm_re=Result*R1C1*T

    Of course, I always wonder what happens if you lose the "master remote"...

    Oh, and years ago, my now-husband and I discovered just where that black hole empties out. It's in the middle of a tiny back street in Plymouth, MA. Ther had to have been 30 or 40 socks (not a single PAIR, however) in a pile there. We figured that was at least where all of the clothes dryers dumped those individual missing socks... LOL

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  68. Did you check your son's safe? I mean, the kid hides pizza slices in there, so who knows what he's hidden in there recently?

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  69. Scene One: Child is pulling out puzzle. All pieces are in.
    Scene Two: Child is nearing the completion of puzzle, but a piece is missing. He has not left the room and no one has come near him.
    Scene Three: I set the puzzle up high so I can remember to look for the piece later.
    Scene Four: Puzzle is still up high, but now missing three pieces.

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  70. Burglars, that's it, they really wanted that tin whistle.

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  71. My daughter has a G&T class where she was to invent something. She invented exactly what you need. She called it "FFOF" - Favorite Five Object Finder. It comes with 5 stickers you place on 5 favorite items. You enter info into the device about the items and if you lose it, the device will tell you exactly where it is!!
    WaLa!!!
    Of course, you'd probably lose the device huh? LOL

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  72. You might want to check your heating vents. A couple of weeks ago after I saw my 2 year old slip my credit card in one, I opened it up and found 2 baby spoons, a large handful of flashcards, several dominos, a couple of random papers and a couple of small toys. Of course, I couldn't find the credit card. I had to put the cover back on and wait for my DH to come home and stick his monkey-length long arms in there to fish it out.

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  73. Oh dear! I hate when I can't find things!! We did discover when our daughter was just little that she would throw things away. Things like the TV remote! I got really careful about emptying the trash after I couldn't find my prescription sunglasses. They never, ever resurfaced either. :-/

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  74. Doesn't it always seem like you lose the most stuff when you're the most stressed? (And have the least amount of time to look for them!) I'm always looking for new ideas to help me keep track of things. Here's one I discovered. To help me keep socks straight I just started buying my kids all white socks that are the same. So when I do laundry there is no more matching socks. All I have to do is sort them by size then I just grab a pile of white socks and throw them in their drawers. Who cares if they're not folded--they'll just mess them up again anyway. It's not like they're shirts and you have to worry about wrinkles so who cares! I do the same thing with combs, I just buy a bunch and stash some in each bathroom. If one gets lost--oh well. Hope that helps!
    Julie

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  75. Both of my children lost a pair of shoes at around 3 years old, never to be found again. And my 5 year old daughter cannot keep gloves. She has so many singles she's been wearing mis-matched ones out to play lately....

    I think some of your things must be in your children's dresser drawers, since that seems to be a popular place to store food... Why not other stuff, too?

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  76. We have cats that we blame. I don't think they always steal everything, but we have found an awful lot of things underneath our fridge and stove. Maybe my cats come visit you from time to time?

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  77. Sometimes I wish that black hole would just swallow me up for a few days, while the house cleans itself, the laundry is majically folded and put away...and a few suppers appear on the table! Then maybe I could just 'reappear' like that one lost sock!

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  78. YOu mean I am NOT the only person this happens to??

    The thing that is the WORST is when we lose these things within MINUTES of opening/receiving them!?!? ARG!

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  79. I think the black hole just transforms things. Like I lose gray matter on a daily basis, and more and more I find that it is coming back in the form of gray HAIR!

    Good luck with the glasses.
    Karla

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  80. Everything in our house is misplaced or "lost" by not me. When I catch this not me guy I am going to be really annoyed with him/her.

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  81. When my son was small he was always losing his pacifiers. I swear I would buy a package of six and a week later they'd all be gone. When he was in third grade we replaced the furnace and discovered where all the pacifiers had gone. He put them down the cold air return (we live in an old house with the metal grates over the returns). He walked at nine months and didn't give up the pacifiers until he was almost three, so there was quite a supply down there.

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  82. It's fairies, they collect things. And if you look in the backyard, under the beds (sometimes in the beds)or behind furniture, you may find some of your missing things hidden away... Trust me, we've got fairies too. ;)3 to be exact...

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  83. When I was growing up, my mom was convinced that someone was coming into our house and stealing her cutlery, one piece at a time. :-)

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  84. It's gnomes. They take everything. I *think* they come out at night, but I know for a fact that they're solely responsible for many posessions being stolen over the years. They have a taste for remotes in my house. ANY kind of remote. Or scissors. I imagine to cut each others beards or something. For awhile they had a thing for MY underwear. Don't know what that was about.

    I figured out that once you stop caring about said, stolen items, the gnomes bring them back. Then it's like a trip to treasure city lol.

    Kind of like cleaning my front closet.

    Hey! Maybe THAT'S where your daughters glasses went. I'll let you know.

    If I ever get around to cleaning it.

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  85. Don't usually play one upsmanship but I'm gonna have to jump in here with my 'black hole' story.

    I lost the top to my 6 qt. pressure cooker. I'm not just talking about that little round thingie that controls the steam escaping. I'm talking about the ENTIRE top (including the little thingie).

    I have a very small house with a very small kitchen. I don't have many cabinets.

    How the heck do you 'lose' a top to a 6 qt pot?

    I mean how do you 'accidentally' throw out a top that ways about 5 pounds, and is larger than a breadbox??

    Aside from cooking and maybe knocking someone up against their head, what would you need a 5 lb pressure cooker top for?

    (anyone need a topless pot?)

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  86. I love the idea of the "thing" that finds lost items. However, I know I'd lose the finder part.

    We also have the cat issue, although ours is (I think) real. They like to chew on things. I believe they have eaten all but 3 of our Hungry Hungry Hippo marbles (do they sell extras?). The dangers of my kids not putting things away... which I'm encouraging learning the hard way for my own sanity.

    And am I the only one who continues to wash singleton socks in the vague hope that someday the other one will show up someday somehow? I think it's actually worked once or twice, too!

    Michelle

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  87. This cracks me up to hear of all the moms with little ones who throw their things in the trash! :-) On the other hand, you do have a little one who likes to play in the potty. Maybe things are getting flushed away?

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  88. As my mother would tell me....It's always in the last place you look ;)

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  89. Ah Dawn you must need one of these (or 10)
    http://www.keyringer.com/

    Also we solved the odd socks problem by buying bulk identical black/white socks.
    any 2 socks instantly become a pair - never ende up with only 1 black and 1 white - YET

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  90. Good Lord I am really losing my mind.
    I meant to say "a top the weighs, not ways about 5 pounds"

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  91. Wooo Woooo...
    I had to share this story. I can't believe I almost forgot it.

    I had a dog that ate my checks. Not I'm not saying that Benny ate any piece of paper. He loved whatever checks were made of.

    I would never have realized where my checks were going if I did not see it myself.

    A friend wrote a check for the money she owed me. We sat around chatting for a while. When she got up to go I reach down to pick up the check you had just given me and it was gone. We searched everywhere.

    We never even left the livingroom so we couldn't figure out where the check disappeared to.

    We looked over at Bebby and we noticed (I swear this happened)he was curled up on his bed, licking his lips and SMILING.

    I know this in not my blog so I try and wrap this up.

    We started to test our theory of the check eating dog by putting checks on the coffee table, turning our backs or walking out and sure enough .... the checks disappeared.

    When think of all the checks I thought I had lost ..... all that money in Benny's belly .... well,
    I was angry enough to make Benny burgers!!

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  92. As long as you DID lose 20 pounds and DIDN'T lose any children you are still way ahead! Try looking in the dog house and the laundry basket.
    blessings, Penny Raine
    http://www.pennyraine.com/blog

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  93. Well, if you remember when Cindy lost Kitty Carryall they blamed Bobby, but it was actually the dog. My son lost his hamster once, never to be found, but my 2-year-old daughter said "flush flush" hmmmm we still often wonder what the heck happened to "Happy."

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  94. You must have a pixie. You're supposed to request outloud (to the pixie) that they bring that stuff back immediately. Then you'll find it shortly afterwards.

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