I read a piece written by Babble’s Suzanne Jannese, Jennifer Garner Nails What’s Wrong with the Work-Family Balance in America. In it, she makes the point that society still expects the woman to do all the juggling and compromising needed to raise a family while dad can go about his business of bringing home the bacon with little worry about childcare and running a household. I understand what she’s saying. Families have changed over the years, but attitudes about roles within the family haven’t kept up. I get it. She makes some valid points in her article. What I don’t get is this – who ever said that having a family would be easy? Where do we get the idea that we are all inherently entitled to balance? Why is juggling and compromise seen as a bad thing? Why do people believe they deserve to “have it all?”
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Dawn, I hear you. But the problem is that a society really does not appreciate anyone who steps back for her children.
ReplyDeleteWhich is totally cool because I am not here for appreciation, but there are times as a human when I feel jealous of the recognition my husband gets for his achievements. While I am just that mom who takes a break from work every time her kids run a fever! I too want to do those cool things, travel to cool places for work, be important. I have same education as my husband, and am just as capable.
But I am here juggling, stressed out, always running trying to meet work demands and home demands, with no time for myself and absolutely no time for friends. Any time not spent at work is for home, or then for taking care of aging parents. Its stifling at times, and very lonely.
Yes, caring for my family is a conscious choice. I wouldn't do it other way. But there are times I wish my husband left work to take kids to the doctor, or he knew that there was no milk at home, and I could get time for my personal achievement.
Trivial issues, I know. I know there are people struggling to survive, and being able to spend time with my kids is a privilege. But yet, at times, it rankles.