Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Price of Prom: a Breakdown of Costs

According to a recent study by Visa, teens will spend nearly $1000 on prom this year. That's a hefty chunk of change for a few hours of fun. I know it didn't cost that much when I went to prom! I did my own hair and makeup, got my fabulous, poofy Gunne Sax dress on sale at Sears, and piled into the back of a friend's Econoline van that was used to transport his family's Irish Wolfhounds. By the time we got to prom, I was covered in dog hair. Voila! The cheapest fur wrap you could ever find!

I know that kids today feel like they need to one-up each other. A teen can’t appear at the dance wearing the same dress as another kid! And she sure doesn’t want to be shown up by having the cheaper dress. She can’t arrive in a regular ole limo when her friends are taking a party bus! I mean, stuff like this can ruin a kid’s life. You can’t recover from such egregious slights. You know those homeless-looking people who ride the bus while having entire conversations with a chewing gum wrapper? Yeah, well those are the people who didn’t keep up with the Joneses at prom.

Still, as a single mom of 6 (3 of whom are teenagers), I’m always looking for ways to save money. I don’t have $1000 to spend per kid for one evening’s festivities so I decided to break down the typical prom expenses and then look for less expensive alternatives. Here, for your reference, is a list of your basic prom expenses:

PROM TICKETS:  $50 – $100 each

FLOWERS:  $25 – $50

DRESS:  $500 (which amounts to $100 per square inch of fabric)

HAIR, MAKEUP & NAILS:  hiring Cinna, Flavius, Venia, and Octavia to style you – $1000

PLASTIC SURGERY:  breast implants to make sure you adequately fill out that $500 dress – $8000

HELICOPTER:  because limousines are SO last year – $500

AFTER-PARTY:  a suite in a nice hotel. In Vegas. With airfare to get there. – $1500

ICE SCULPTURE:  that looks like Elsa’s castle in Frozen – $300

PAPARAZZI:  forget the traditional photographer; hire paparazzi to follow you around and immediately put pics and video on Vine, Instagram and Twitter. #prom #swag #amazeballs #yolo #schweg – $700

THE DOS EQUIS GUY:  hire him to hang out with your party because he is the most interesting man in the world – $2000

HOUSE REMODELING:  so you have a nice backdrop for all those pre-prom photos – $10,000

MORGAN FREEMAN:  to narrate your evening because, well, because he’s Morgan Freeman – $20,000


NOT BEING THE HOMELESS PERSON WHO TALKS TO GUM WRAPPERS:  priceless

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