This is what I found in the bathroom today. This was not the first time. In fact, I find this same scene at least once a week.
Who here can tell me what's wrong with this picture? Anyone? Anyone? My kids couldn't come up with the answer.
To illustrate my point, I took the cardboard tube from the holder and held it up for my kids to see a little more clearly. Still, they looked at me completely confused. "What?" they innocently asked. "What's wrong?"
"Ummm do you see how much toilet paper is left on here? Could you wipe your butt with this?"
They shuffled their feet and looked down and muttered that they could probably use that much to wipe.
"Not very convincing, guys. See, when the roll has less toilet paper than it would take to wipe a Barbie doll's butt, it's time to replace the roll. I know, I know, it sounds scary. It sounds hard. It sounds like a really technical job. But with a little practice, I'm sure you guys could do this. In fact, you may even become so proficient at it that you could go on to teach your dad how to do it!"
I continued, "All you have to do is reach a mere 2 feet over, grab a spare roll of toilet paper, and slide it on the spindle. Ta da! You kids don't know how easy you have it! When I was a kid, we had to completely remove the spindle and it was SPRING LOADED! We had to push the two ends in and hope to God that the spring didn't snap and launch the whole darn spindle across the bathroom! All you kids have to do is slide the empty roll off and slide the new roll on!"
OK, I'm done with my tirade. For the moment anyway.
A few of you guys wrote to say that you couldn't find your marker on the map and you were wondering if your package had gotten lost in the mail. We got your packages and you're actually on the map. When you click on the map to view it close-up, look to the left of the map where the list of everyone's city is. Scroll down to the bottom of that and you'll see that there are 2 pages. Click on page 2. Everyone who sent an inquiry yesterday is on there. I guess the map only holds so many on each page. Sorry about the confusion and thank you again for sending us all the information and pictures! :)
Oh, and for those asking for the address again, it's...
Dawn Meehan
PO Box 66274
Chicago, IL 60666
Oh and of course Jackson and Austin threw up this morning. You know - because I wrote that everyone was doing well last night. And my stomach feels as if I've taken a double dose of Alli. As long as Clay and Lexi stay healthy this week. On Thursday, Clay's having his second set of tubes put in his ears and Lexi's getting her third set. Their ears haven't been clear since October. The poor kids are constantly saying, "What?" and they both failed their hearing tests.
I feel your pain. I had the same conversation with my husband this past weekend. He gets a new roll, sits there and does his business, and leaves that little bit left on the old roll. The new roll is sitting on the towel holder. I am like, "What the heck are you doing ion there that whole time that you can't put on the new roll?"
ReplyDeleteOnce I gave one of my kids the lecture about replacing the toilet paper themselves and handed them the replacement roll (while they were on the toilet - this is a key detail) and left the room. I'm still trying to figure out how he/she managed to drop the whole roll in the toilet while sitting on the seat. Serves me right for trying to make my kids self-sufficient...
ReplyDeleteIf I had a dime for everytime I threw fit over the empty toilet paper roll - I'd make Oprah look like a pauper. Nothing works.
ReplyDeleteI have the same toliet paper dilema at my house, only not just with my kids with my husband, and if he does remember to get the toliet paper, he sets it on top of the empty roll. HE NEVER PUTS it on the holder. How do you train them?!?!?! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, Dawn. So sorry to hear the kids are still sick. Definitely no fun for anyone.
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you on the toilet paper, although to be fair, I haven't taught my kids where the toilet paper is because I'm still in the "you do NOT need to use the entire roll. If you do, it will clog the toilet and make a mess for Daddy to clean" phase.
Bummer on the tubes, too. I do at least know from experience (and I'm sure you do, too) that they can be put in with an ear infection. My son does the "what?" thing constantly, too, and I swore last week he had another ear infection... even took him to see the doctor, but nope. How long have your tubes lasted in the various kids? My daughter had hers put in Sept 27 2006, and they're still in and going strong, lucky us!
BUT at least you didn't experience our flood today. I learned what happens if you don't know that your fridge has a filter for the ice maker and don't change it for 2 years (and however long the previous owners hadn't changed it for). The plus side is that I *did* finally figure out what that spraying noise by the fridge was.
Here's hoping everyone gets well (for good!) soon, and your stomach remembers that you don't put Alli in it.
Michelle
Better watch out, Dawn! You used the word "butt" in this post. You'll have a whole new slew of readers who are out there Googling the word Butt in their spare time. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteI have three kids, ages 4.5, 3 and 1.5. No one here is capable of replacing the toilet paper except me. But they are sure capable of unrolling an entire roll across the house in about 10 seconds flat.
If you manage to teach your kiddos how to reload the toilet paper, would you like to come teach mine???
ReplyDeleteHey Dawn,
ReplyDeleteCan you spare a square?
Sorry, one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes!
Ok, I have good news for you! If there are 8 people in your house & you are only seeing this happen 2x a week, SOMEONE else in that house has to be changing it. There is only 4 of us here & 3 of us spend about 8-10 hours out of the home & I'm seeing it almost on a daily basis! I swear the dogs must be doing it to me!
ReplyDeleteHey you think you have problems, I still have one of the spring loaded ones! I don't even ask them to change the roll, I'm still working on that tiny little lever they have to push to make the bad stuff go away-awe the true trials in life!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! That is every mother's tirade. (Really, you're lucky to find that much on the roll). I hope things are really almost over with the flu bug. My kids are taking turns barfing now too. I hope the tubes go well on Thursday.
ReplyDeleteFrom one of my blog entries:
ReplyDeleteI have decided that members of my family must be convinced that there is a Toilet Paper Fairy who visits our house regularly because she has a very important job. Family members remove the new, full paper roll from the package and set it on top of the empty roll that is still attached to the holder, so it can wait for the fairy to come along. She removes the empty carboard roll and installs the new roll of paper. She must be a very important part of the family, seeing as how no one else seems to have the vast knowledge and education for this important task. I cannot count how many times in the last month I have gone into a bathroom and found that the roll of paper has run out and has a newer roll balanced on top waiting for the toilet paper fairy.
I suppose she should be glad that they know where to find the new roll under the cabinet instead of sitting stranded on the toilet and yelling "Moooooooooom!!!!!!! we're out of toilet paper!"
I wonder what would happen if the Toilet Paper Fairy decided to stop coming to our house. Would we be destined to have rolls of paper balanced on the holder and the empty roll forever? Instead of installed where they are supposed to go, and roll as they were designed to do? I mean it's called a "Roll", not a "Hold in hand and unwind". It's a good thing that the Toilet Paper Fairy is an unassuming helper who doesn't mind keeping an eye on her important job.
What would we do without her?
Hi Dawn, Has the whole family had the bug? Not Clay and Lexi? I am praying for them ok! As for the toilet paper issue...LOL I think it is a womans duty. Everyone else don't seem to care if it's sitting on the counter. Not to mention why hubby can't clean the sink after shaving? Put the razor, shaving cream and tooth brush, toothpaste away! If it did'nt bother me I would leave it there. Hope you don't mind that I am complaining on Your blog!? Kristine in Michigan.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the kids not being well (again/still).
ReplyDeleteOn the brighter side I thought I'd share my solution for the ever diminishing toilet paper roll. We bought a behind-the-door towel rack and use it to stock extra TP. There are 4 rods and each holds 3-4 rolls. Best thing I ever bought!
Hi Again Dawn, My toilet paper holder holds Two Empty Rolls of toilet paper! Say that three times fast! Kristine in Michigan.
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn, I was wondering if people from all the places that your children are named after have sent cards for Autin's project?
ReplyDeleteAT work one day my boss was saying that it made her crazy when her husband put the roll on the spindle so it unwound from the bottom...I said if my husband EVER replaced a role I would be so shocked I would die instantly! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the toilet paper thing gets me too. No idea why it's so hard for kids, and men, to grasp the concept. Must've been spoiled by the toilet paper fairy or something.
ReplyDeleteDawn - I found the exact same scene when I walked in from work today, except my culprit left a stench and I first inquired on who left my house smelling so badly and when he volunteered his pride in a smell that could kill a small tribe, I gently reminded him that he forgot to do something....of course hints aren't that good and I had to say, 'replace the toilet paper roll' AND, this is the bathroom where I have a sign on the wall with instructions on how to do it.
ReplyDeleteSorry the sickies found you again.
Oh, Dawn I feel your pain! In my case, it's always the last roll that has been left empty on the holder, though... Seems to happen to me an awful lot more than it should...
ReplyDeleteYou are so blessed to have an agent and a publisher and a contract, by the way... I'm struggling to write a query letter that will sell my novel, and to tell you the truth, writing the novel was easier!
Oh man, I am laughing again out loud at your blog! You crack me up! Anywho--I have the SAME toilet paper problem. We have TWO, yes TWO bathrooms and my boys AND my husband always leave it empty or nearly empty. I hate it! Men, they never learn. They ARE from Mars!!
ReplyDeleteToodle-Loo!
My kids still have to deal with the little spring loaded contraption. I'd thought about buying new tp holders like you have, but I see now that it will not solve my problem. And we expect these little people to one day graduate from college?
ReplyDeleteWell, the picture wasn't as "wrong" as it might have been. At first glance, I thought it was the remnants of a roll of paper towel...which is what my kids reach into the cabinet for when the toilet paper runs out. Whenever I see that, I know what I'm going to see in the bowl. So I don't even bother looking down; I just go in search of the plunger.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if we make our kids use corncobs for a week or so...
I've ruined many a pair of underwear when I've sat down and neglected to check and see if there's tp left on the roll...and then had to go in search of a new roll in another bathroom...or even just some kleenex or paper towels. But at that point, a shower was the only viable option! Hope the ear tubes help the kidlets!!
ReplyDeleteSo since you say that men can't do this does this mean that there is hope that maybe when my 1 year old daughter is big enough that she might actually replace a roll herself?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, anyone at all replacing that roll would be better then me being the only one. My husband will at least get a new roll out of the closet and set on the back of the toilet so you aren't completely sad and have to drip dry. One of my sons will sometimes replace the roll AND put it on the old fashioned holder with the spring! His wife better love me! I have two boys and both will at least put a roll in the bathroom.
We have the same problem in my house but the even bigger dispute is which way the TP goes on the spindle. My husband insists "under" is right and I say "over" is right. I almost always replace all of the paper. Boys will be boys.
ReplyDeleteHeather
Found it, page 2, who'd of thought?
ReplyDeletePop quiz - What is the state bird of Maryland?
Hey, Dawn. Hope the kids all feel better soon. Haven't read your blog in a few days. Here is a funny toilet paper story. My 3 1/2year old son went to the potty and something came on t.v. he wanted to see. I told him to go finish in the bathroom. He told me he would as soon as he saw this one part on t.v. I then realized he had walked from the bathroom to the living room with the toilet paper streaming from the roll. I couldn't help but laugh. There's a new way to toilet paper the house!
ReplyDeleteYour TP tirade could have come right out of my mouth (and I think it has)!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is when I wake up at 2 am (ah, the joys of having had children) to visit the bathroom, and reach over in the dark to get the toilet paper so that I can get back to sleep already, and THAT's the time when it's empty with no spare anywhere in the room. I suppose it's my fault for not turning on the light (never saw the need, can't all moms see in the dark?), but why didn't it occur to the person who used it all up and didn't replace the empty tube (who could it be? master bathroom at a grownup bedtime...anyone? anyone?) that this MIGHT pose a problem in the very near future? And wouldn't you know, it's never when HE gets up at 2 am...
Laura
I have to say that the toilet roll thing doesn't actually bug me that much. If the new roll is within arms reach then I'll happily put it on myself. if I'm left stranded on the dunny, then that's a whole other kettle of fish.
ReplyDeleteI also mean to apologise for not postcarding from Sydney yet. Are you in need of one from here? Perhaps the guilt will prompt me to get moving.
Thirdly (and finally), what grades do yo teach at Sunday School? I teach highschool age Sunday School (yrs7-10) and I'm not sure if its easier or harder than the littlies.
Hey, Hey, Hey! Thank you, thank you for addressing the plight of the stranded toilet sitter!
ReplyDeleteNow you're FINALLY using your blog to address some really critical issues! Forget the, "my husband blah, blah, blahd, does this..., and he blah, blah, blah, does that" stuff. This IS important!
Next, would you please shed some light on the debate about "paper over" or "paper under"? (And please don't tell me you're a paper under person.)
Hey, I know that these subjects are a long ways away from talking about world peace, but I honestly think this could be the next big campaign issue.
I hate to tell you but the tp issue cannot be fixed. It is an impossiblity. Have you seen Spiderwick? They can't see the goblins without a special eye glass. I think the empty tp dispenser is the same way. I'm sorry you have so many sickies. I hope you are not getting it.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I had this experience tonight as well. We still have the spring loaded version though. It takes waay to much dexterity for a man or small children to change. It really does;)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear they still have a bug. I had to laugh at your double dose of Alli comment. Oh dear, that's EXACTLY how it feels.
I swear I had flashbacks at the spring load comment. Never thought I would have memories of toilet times as a child but there they came! So glad for all the laughs you bring.
ReplyDeletehttp://lifewithspirit.blogspot.com
Maybe they would change the roll if they thought there was a toilet paper fairy - put the old roll under your pillow and she'll leave you a dime or whatever the going rate is these days.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the sick - it's rough enough when there's just one.
My cousin had to have tubes put in - before the school district figured that out, they labeled him as 'special needs" and put him in a special ed. class. Turns out he was juts falling behind because he couldn't hear a dang thing the teacher said. My aunt had to fight to have him reclassified and assigned to a "normal" class. All the best for your little guys.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Oh, these comments are too funny! It looks like the toilet paper replacing is a hot issue in many homes. :)
ReplyDeleteSuburbanCorrespondent: They dropped the whole roll in the toilet? LOL! That is so terrible, yet so funny--sorry!
I hope no-one puked in the just-painted closets??
ReplyDeleteHope all are feeling better soon.
Karla
I am printing out this blog post and taping it to the top of the toilet seat right now!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.vanderhoekart.blogspot.com/
As the father of 7, of which 6 are boys, we have had a constant battle in our house over something OTHER than toilet paper.
ReplyDeleteMy catchcry over the years has been RINSE AND STACK!!! RINSE... AND... STACK... PLEEEEASE!!!
How hard is it to rinse one’s crockery and stack it in order of size and stackability? It’s hardly ever rinsed and I walk up to the sink to see a leaning tower of dinner plates and the like all balancing on a small bowl underneath.
But there’s also another catchcry in my house and it comes from the two females, however it kind of gets lost among the 7 males but it goes something like this... PUT THE SEAT DOWN!!! PUT... THE... SEAT... DOWN... PLEEEEASE!!!
(You know, if you plonk your bare bum down without looking first, then you deserve the cold discomfort of damp porcelain. Just saying.)
I not only get the empty roll at home, I manage to get it when we travel!! The spare roll is sitting on the back of the toilet and the holder is empty. Maybe I"M the travel TP fairy!
ReplyDeleteThe worst is if the truck stop-gas station-diner in the middle of nowhere has the spring loaded kind and it flies out of your hand and rolls under the stall door...what to do???
My 17 year old brother and I share a bathroom. He is just as bad as most about changing the tp. I actually had my mom show him where the extra tp is kept in the house, so that he could have a not-so-subtle hint to help him remember to change the tp. That day he brought 5 fresh rolls of tp down to the bathroom. I don't think I've seen him carry any since, let alone change the roll. And on the odd occasion that he does change the roll, he puts it on the wrong way, so that the tp falls down the back, rather than being visible in front. Oh, and we have those constarned spring-loaded tp holders, too. Pity me.
ReplyDeleteGet this, My 4 year old actually likes to change the roll! When does that all change? Of course he prefers carrots to cake, too.
ReplyDeleteI remember all the "tubes in ears" and my wonderful pediatrician finally figured out that one of my daughters was the "culture media" for bugs. We got her tonsils out and the ear infections for the WHOLE family went away!
ReplyDeleteAnd TP comes OVER the roll... it's a female thing, I think. All of my four sons put it from under the roll and my daughters both were OVER persons.
As in a prior post - males just don't think the same way...about & TP or anything else!
Good luck with the sickies! Yuk, I hate vomit!
Ah yes, the toilet paper issue. We have the same one here. The 12 year old who can manage to get the old roll off the spindle, put both the spindle and old roll on the ground and then set the new roll on top of the counter.
ReplyDeleteFor Rick if you happen to see this (if not I may feel obliged to email you LOL), I'm an over person. If I ever see it under I HAVE to change it, it's an obsession, seriously it is.
Dawn, from a mother of 2 ear kids (as we call them up here in Iceland, I got a great hint, that has helped my kids alot. When they get infections while using the tubes, you know, stuff leaking out the ears, that feared smell that says: Hmm, penicillin yet again, try taking a cotton bud, wet it with some tea tree oil and lightly touch the inside of the ear. Doesn't have to go in far. Repeat a couple of times over the day. I just gave a new mother that hint and it helped her son too.
ReplyDeleteAngry, this is a pet peeve, why on EARTH doesn't just everybody, male or female, put not just the seat down but the whole lid? Have you seen videos of the tiny drops of water that get sprayed up from the toilet if flushed with the lid open? And do you perhaps have toothbrushes in the same room? Bacteria feast! (and I'm totally not bacteriaphobic...)
Hi Dawn - seen your comments on people being on the map - I sent you a big email way back on Feb 12th but we're not on your map - Jac and family in the south of France?! Did you get my message - I'll send it again in case not as if you reply on your blog, I might miss it!
ReplyDeleteJac
Hi Dawn, I LOVE your blog! I usually just read, but decided to comment this time. Regarding the TP... I've found that buying the Charmin Mega rolls (6 mega rolls equals 24 regular rolls) really cuts down on how often the TP has to be changed! I have 4 kids, and only have to change it once every couple weeks! (I gave up on the thought of my kids being self-sufficient).
ReplyDeleteLOL, Dawn - I gave up on this battle years ago. I just set out a new roll when I know the other is getting low, and change it myself when the time comes. 'Course, I'm not sure what will happen once the kids are out there on their own, since they apparently believe the paper appears there by magic... ;-p
ReplyDeleteI just woke my 16 year old daughter up (homeschooled, so she was not at school!) to mention the fact that when she cleans the bathroom (as she did on Sunday) that she is supposed to stock the bathroom. I had that same itty bitty bit of TP in the bathroom this morning and all the EXTRA rolls were NOT THERE.
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn, This post is getting alot of comments. I have to tell you a story. I keep my toilet paper under the sink in the bathroom. A few weeks ago I herd a loud water Spraying sound and ran to see. A pipe had burst under the sink and of course I had just put 24 double rolls under there. They filled a large garbage bag full of heavy soaked toilet paper. Needless to say we were out of paper and had to use paper towel. Kristine in Michigan.
ReplyDeletewww.youtube.com/watch?v=yNsqNR3lDHo
ReplyDeleteRemember that "Mad About You" episode where the wife demonstrates the simplicity of changing the toilet paper roll?? LOL You'd think it was sooo easy - but my hubby still has a problem with this concept. I sometimes ask him - "How DID you manage when you lived on your own without me?"
Hope everyone feels better!
Do you remember the Mad About You episode with the changing of the tp roll? Every time I find an empty roll, I think of that demonstration :) and here's hoping your family gets well, soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh everyday! You are a source of happiness to me :)
;) I discovered these nifty stainless steel hangers that fasten to the rim of the toilet tank, so you have a spot for a spare roll ON the toilet.
ReplyDeleteIt helps remind my kids to change the roll, but even more importantly... if they forget theres a roll handy for ME!
:)
I must be the only person in the western world to never have watched Seinfeld, Mad About You and Everybody loves Raymond.
ReplyDeleteHope you and your brood feel better soon Dawn!
Aww, poor kiddies...feel better everyone!!
ReplyDeleteI think only moms are allowed to change the toilet paper roll b/c nobody else seems to do it in our house but her...
Have a great day!!
OMG I think it is genetically impossible for men to change a toilet paper roll. One time, I didn't replace the toilet paper roll deliberately, to see how long it would take my husband and two male children to replace the roll on the holder. After the 7th roll of TP that was balanced on top of the holder? I gave up. I finally figured out that they just don't give a crap, so to speak. LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, and that gives rise to the whole "over or under" argument, as well. I'm an "over" gal, and will turn around any TP roll that is under. hee!!
I understand! But here is my problem... my kids don't seem to know how to flush!! I have 3 boys and 1 girl. They also seem to have a problem with aim!! God help us all - I am threatening to lock all bathroom doors, and they have to come get me to monitor their bathroom usage. AIM and FLUSH!! Is that soooo hard??! sigh....
ReplyDeletep.s. I'm a sympathetic puker, so it is REALLY hard for me to smell, hear, or even read about puking. Makes my stomach upset and nauseous just reading about it here. LOL
ReplyDeleteSome mommy I was . . . gagging and trying not to barf while trying to help my kids when they were little. OMG I can't do barf.
We experience a similar problem with reversed culprits at our house. Multiple times a week DW gets out of her car in the garage and puts trash ON the lid of the garbage can. Newsflash - garbage can lids open for for women as well as men, we don't hold a secret combination or anything... and I've never even mentioned it to her...because I love her that much (no, I'd much rather annonymously rant about it here.)
ReplyDeleteAs for the Over/under debate. We have ammicably settled on "Over is right" until we discovered that "Under" is harder for 1 yo's to unroll....food for thought for all you over-hangers.... but they do learn how to cope with this obstacle pretty quickly too.
iarainman...had to laugh at your comment. Isn't it funny how some jobs around the house are gender-based -- i.e. it's the "man's" job to take out the garbage. Well, we women are so relieved to hear that there is no secret combination to the garbage can lid. See, we thought only men held the magic key that would open the lid. Geesh, and to think that all this time, I could have taken out the garbage instead of letting it sit around, stinking up the place! LOL
ReplyDeleteTongue-in-cheek, of course. But your comment so aptly describes how each gender has it's little "quirks". LOL
Thanks for the laugh.
My 3-year-old steals our spring-loaded tp holders and plays Star Wars with them. They make great kid-sized light sabers!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog :)
ReplyDeleteI have noticed in the past couple days though, whatever you added recently causes the windows to freeze up, scrolling freezes up, it's really hard on the computer. Scripts, java, or something?
LOL, we have THAT same conversation about the toilet paper roll at WORK! How pathetic is it that grown women can't put out a new roll? That reminds me... I need to buy TP.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize you're close to my neck of the woods. I'm in NW Illinois.
I noticed you don't have anything from San Antonio.. Let me know what you need. I will see if I can be of assistance..
ReplyDeleteMichelle
Is it any less frustrating than trying to explain this to a grown man of 35?
ReplyDeleteI thought learning to changing the roll was part of potty training and a necessary job to earn the privilage to use the potty chair. We have 5 of our 6 kids trained already.
ReplyDeleteAlso my kids have never thrown anything in the potty chair, and they pick up after themselves and... and if you believe all that.....
well maybe I could sell you the Brooklyn Bridge also. LOL
my IN-LAWS do the SAME thing!!! when they come in they NEVER change the roll. so instead of putting the new one on they just use the new one and stick it back in the basket. drives me crazy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're only a month or two behind me on this tirade. I not only have to put up with the toilet paper issue at home with hubby but at work too. I share a bathroom with 4 other women and I'm apparently the only one who change the roll. Not only that, but I'm the only one who stocks our bathroom with tp.
ReplyDeleteMy husband takes the empty roll, folds it together and slides it INSIDE the new roll. And then puts the new roll on the counter - because of course it won't fit onto the holder now! I don't know why he does that, it's an obsession...
ReplyDeleteMe again - I found my name on the map. And as I said on my postcard, there's something I'd like to share... We've been living in Dakar, Senegal (West Africa) for over a year, and I got involved in charity work. One particular programme really caught my attention and I posted about it on my blog. One of my readers was so touched about the story that she made a web page.
ReplyDeleteHere it is:
http://ivmoores.com/pat/
If your kids whine about their school... please show them these pictures!
(Dawn, if you don't want to put this online, that's ok, I mostly wanted your family and especially Austin to see it - as you were interested in knowing how people live elsewhere...)
I think that I have come up with a way to get people to change the roll, or at least I hope. Next time I see a roll getting close to empty, I am going to tape a dollar bill to the holder(so that it can't be seen unless you take the paper off) in the hopes that if they find a dollar, they might think there might be another one next time. I will let you know if this works. By the way, this is the first time I have read your blog. Love It!
ReplyDeleteHey, if 2 squares are good enough for Cheryl Crow, they should be good enough for the rest of us. Acutally, I heard a rumor that celebrity butts don't need as much TP as those of us with non-famous butts.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite episode of Mad About You has a short at the beginning where Jamie comes out and changes the roll right in front of Paul. "It easy, really!" Cracks me up!
ReplyDeleteDon't you know? THE Toilet paper fairy comes in and takes care of it. Same with the trash.
ReplyDeleteSeriously?? Yours doesn't change itself? LOL (It seems I always get stuck with the "end" of the roll.)
ReplyDeleteMy Solution...
ReplyDelete2 Bathrooms...
One for Me and the other for them...
Seems to work well, other then sometimes I think there is dog poo in my house (and we dont have an animal)... straight to the bathroom for a bath... the joys of being 5 and walking around with icky butt.
Dawn, Normally I would not send you something I received via email, but lately I have been feeling underappreciated (scratch that, I really mean UNappreciated) and downright resentful towards my family. I am out numbered 3:1, males to lone female. While I have some wonderful friends, I do not have any family(well MY family)in this neck of the woods. I have always had close female family ties, I can really get bent out of shape when I do not have said family to laugh with, cry with, converse with and just simlpy hug. So all of this pity I have just unloaded on you has brought me to the following email I received. It really put everything into perspective for me! I think you will appreciate it, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm
on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking,
"Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if
I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even
standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car service to order, "Pick me up right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from
a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all
put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for
myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only
thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up
in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, " I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
"With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths,
after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no
record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman
carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees"
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you
does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no
cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.
You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is
not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the
disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the
friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she
hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if
we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the
beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible women.
author unknown
I know this is going to sound kinda strange....but I would really like to know where you purchased the t.p. holder in the picture. I really like it and really like that it's not the "spring-loaded dead rod". If, by chance, you remember where you got it, I would love to know.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Kristen
Ha, ha, ha! SEE this is the perfect time to say to your kids and hubby - WHO'S GOING TO TELL YOU? :)
ReplyDeleteSunday question: How often do you do grocery shopping and do you buy in bulk from Sam's or Costco? Also where on earth do you store all the food an toliet paper?
And I know you don't get to read blogs for leisure anymore but it you can stop by in the next week I'm having a really COOL CONTEST that I think you would enjoy entering! (I'm such a tease...)
See ya!
Lucille
whosgoingtotellyou.blogspot.com
I loved the post, but I have to say some of the comments you got on this one were priceless! [Yikes--TMI alert!] I also thought of you today as I was posting the hilarious instructions I received for repairing my failing diaper pail-- it was one of those; "Gee, I wonder what Dawn would have to say about this" moments! I know you would appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad they use the stuff....
ReplyDeleteespecially since I do the laundry!!
I never realize changing the roll of toilet paper could become a "You kids have it so easy! When I was a kid...." speeches- LOL!! Thanks for the laugh, and good luck with the tubes.
ReplyDeleteI have determined that I am the only person in my house that can A. recognize an empty toilet paper roll and B. figure out how to change it. Also, it's apparently my fault because I hide the new rolls. You know, in the same spot they have been in for the past few years.
ReplyDeleteI try to take the low roll off the holder (and put it in a drawer close to the toilet) and replace it with a new roll. Then if the roll ends up empty, I have a back-up and I never end up "stranded." DH has his own bathroom.
ReplyDeleteNow this may annoy everybody to no end, and I dont understand it myself but... Since my youngest son was 2 he decided that refilling the cane basket where we keep the spare toilet rolls was the best job in the world, plus replacing the empty one on the holder was awesome too. On toilet cleaning day he used to see me wander through the house with the toilet cleaner stuff and come racing up pestering to be able to refill the basket. Then one day, not long after this started he was in the loo, then came out with the empty roll and put it in the bin. I just had to check the toilet and lo and behold there was a new roll on the holder. I was stunned (and had to scrapbook the event). He got so much attention for it that he has kept doing it to this day (he is 5 now). Wierd child, but he is going to make his wife very happy some day.
ReplyDeleteTell me if you figure out how to get your kids to change the toilet papaer roll, because I can't manage to get my husband to!!
ReplyDeletelol!ROfl!
ReplyDeleteNot only are mom's the only people to change the toilet paper, we are the only people who put things away. Once, as a test, I left the vacuum in the middle of the kitchen plugged into the wall for FOUR DAYS! People just walked around it. No one even asked why it was there!!!!!! I give up.
ReplyDeleteTOP TEN FIT PITCHERS
ReplyDeleteNot changing the toilet roll/ overuse of roll/ pieces left on the floor
Toilet seat in upright position
Dirty clothes on the floor next to the basket/ all over the room/ in with clean clothes
Garbage on top of the bin/ to side of bin/ within 2 feet of bin
Overflowing garbage containers
Sticky substances/alien objects down the couch cushions
Footprints on a freshly cleaned floor.
Empty shoes with tied laces/ velcro fasteners with dirt in them.
Shoes/skates/ alien objects in path of emergency exit (doorways/stairs)
Self motivated essentials ( keys / biros/ phone ) mysterious move by themselves
This happens at my house all the time. My first question is how did you use a roll so fast. We often have lessons on how much paper it takes to wipe. My DH is the worse. He will take a new roll and put it on the counter right above the holder.
ReplyDeleteOh my! Well, it's obvious misery loves company - I had no idea the whole TP issue was THIS common of a problem! I have always used ScotTissue (as did my Mom), so ours doesn't need changing quite as often, but still !!
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to chime in on the over/under topic. While it's obvious that over is the correct way to do it (after all, that's how they do it in the nicer hotels), I also remember reading 16 years ago when I was expecting my first child that if you put it on backwards they aren't as likely to be able to unroll the TP all over.
The TP fairy doesn't come here, either - I'm always the one replacing the rolls (from over the top, thankyouverymuch). I also have the "dishwasher? what dishwasher?" crew - couldn't get a dirty spoon or glass in the thing if their lives depended on it - although they're pretty good at stacking stuff in the sink, which is RIGHT NEXT to the dishwasher... I ask them if they're 'dishwasher-blind'. Doesn't help.
ReplyDeleteHahaha this is so funny,can't wait to get kids...LOL.
ReplyDeleteSomething similar to this happened to me:
me: hubby can u please put the trash out?
(hubby came to the kitchen and saw the trash bag still in the bin,he just walked away)
me: where are you going? (looks at me confused)
hubby:i don't see it
me: you think you can open the bin and get it?
hubby:oh ok
haha he's so funny!
OMG! The TUBES!!! I had tubes 7 times. I always had to explain why i had earplugs when i went swimming. I had so many ear infections when I was little. I think the doctors at work only recognize me from the scarring on my eardrums. Everytime I get my physical they say oh I remember these eardrums...
ReplyDelete