Sunday Sound Out

Doesn't it feel after a while as though you've had a lobotomy? I mean, I sort of have to turn your brain off in order not to freak out over these things, you know? I just sort of go through my day, carefully not reacting to situations that, in my pre-mom days, would have driven me crazy.

That's great! It's true. I just wrote a chapter for my book questioning when I lost my brain and why I don't freak out over things anymore.

I have been feeling the same way today...and found an appropriate way to describe it. I think I need to post a sign on my front door that says "Second Law of Thermodynamics enforced strictly on these premises!"
Okay, now that I've identified myself as a geek (a chemical engineer to be exact), I am a mom of three...ages 2, 2 and 7 months
(twins and a baby). And this was the best definition I could come up with for the second law:
Second law of thermodynamics: deltaS = change in entropy. deltaS must be greater than or equal to zero for all natural processes; entropy increases for all natural processes.
"Entropy" is defined as a measure of unusable energy within a closed or isolated system. As usable energy decreases and unusable energy increases, "entropy" increases. Entropy is also a gauge of randomness or chaos within a closed system. As usable energy is irretrievably lost, disorganization, randomness and chaos increase. (all-about-science.org/second-law-of-thermodynamics.htm)
I especially like the part about "usable energy is irretrievably lost" and this leads to "disorganization, randomness and increased chaos". That is totally my life.

Huh???

Oh and now I thought of a question for you! With 6 kids- do you and the kids get a flu shot? If one gets it - don't you all get it?

I refuse to answer on the grounds of Murphy's Law. And yes, if one gets it, we all do. It's the one time they listen to my lessons on sharing.

And on a completely different subject - WHERE do you hide gifts for that many kids? I'm running out of places that I'll remember come 3 weeks. I did find things from last year that I hid and forgot to find so part of my shopping is done. :)

LOL I've done that too! I can't tell you where I hide presents because my kids read this sometimes.

Dawn, What patches is your child on? My daughter is ADHD and is on the Daytrana patch...I am not sure if there is something else out there on the market or if this is the only patch. What side effects do you guys deal with. My daughter has a significant lack of appetite and she also seems irritable.

He used to take Concerta, but we just started Daytrana here too. He doesn't have a good appetite while on the medication, but we remove the patch as soon as he gets home from school and let him graze all night whenever he's hungry. It's a tough thing - ADHD. I don't like giving him medication at all, but he's literally a different person without it. He is very much Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He's the sweetest, most giving, caring, kind, thoughtful, funny kid when he's taken his medication. Unfortunately, without the meds, he is rude, belligerent, impulsive, hyper, obnoxious, and mean. I hate giving him medicine, but I'd hate it even more if he was in trouble every day, got poor grades, had no friends, was teased, or hurt himself because of his impulsive behavior. I know people have a lot of strong feelings about this, but I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all treatment for this. Different things work for different kids and you have to do what you think is the best (or the lesser of all evils) for your child.

We did try a diet with him for about four months. It's called the Feingold diet. I honestly didn't really think it would work. My husband was certain it wouldn't work. We gave it 100% effort for four months though and we were all amazed that it did indeed work. It wasn't quite as effective as the medication, but still, the diet made an incredible, positive difference. Even my husband, ever the skeptic, couldn't believe it. This particular diet cuts out all artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives - basically anything artificial. At the beginning of the diet, they recommend you also cut out natural salicylates until you see if your child is sensitive to them. So, it's not a crazy diet. It's actually healthful. You're only eliminating artificial junk that wasn't even in the American diet a couple generations ago.

Sounds great, huh? Here are the drawbacks though... Whenever I had a question or wanted to get some information from the Feingold support message boards, I ran into "Feingold Nazis". Now, I'm sure there are friendly, helpful people who participate, but I read so much stuff from folks who were so anti-medication and talked so negatively about people who had chosen to help their child with medication, that it really turned me off. Like I said before - I don't believe there is one right answer that works for everyone.
Also, it will cost a fortune to buy packaged, premade natural foods and you will have to do a large amount of your shopping at natural food stores like Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and the like. Or, you can choose to make most everything from scratch - bread, cookies, any kind of treats, and all lunches and meals in which case, it will be more cost effective, but very time consuming. I found that even though I made everything from scratch, my grocery bill still doubled when I did this diet. That was my biggest reason for stopping it. I simply couldn't afford it. I'm used to shopping at Aldi (the cheapest, generic, bargain food mart around.)

Another drawback is that the diet won't work if you don't follow it. I could make sure that it was followed meticulously here at home, but I couldn't be at school all day with my son to make sure he didn't have anything he wasn't supposed to. Although he knew what he could and couldn't eat, it was hard to resist temptation and stick to the diet. This is hard for an adult. Imagine how difficult it is for a nine year old. And what do you do when he's invited to a birthday party where pizza and birthday cake are served? Pack him a separate lunch? Make him feel weird? And how about the other kids? We made the whole family follow the diet because I couldn't see letting them his siblings eat contraband food in front of his face. I felt like it wasn't totally fair to the other kids, however.

In the end, I have yet to find the perfect solution for us. I may go back to the diet again in the future however. It did help my Spazboy, Clay get more control of himself too.

Wow, that post got long! Sorry about that, but hope it can help out someone who has a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD.

too funny. aren't clay and brooklyn your oldest and youngest? getting into mischief together, that's cute.

Nope, they're my two youngest. And yeah, it's cute. Real cute. <--- read with heavy sarcasm.

were there any aftereffects from the tic tac cravings? my mom always said eating too much of those will cause them to come out the other end REALLY quick. i wonder if that is true... :-)

LOL! Umm, not that I noticed.

Soooo, how much hair did you pull out yesterday?

Only the grays.

Here's a question for your Sunday post - what consequences happen to your kids when they do things like this? I never had six kids, but I did have three boys and they wouldn't have dreamed of pulling stunts like these. I think the worst mine ever tried was a bit of crayon on the wall and that earned them a whole afternoon of time-out in their room.
I never get this "boys will be boys" way of thinking. Boys can be completely charming and delightful when they know what their limits are.

Ugh. This was in response to Monday's post so I had to go back and look at it to refresh my memory. First of all, I'm not sure why you're asking. It sounds as if you just want to imply that I'm doing everything wrong since your children apparently never misbehaved. I'm also guessing that your children may be grown now? I do think that (in general) kids today aren't as well behaved as (in general) kids from generations past. I do not attribute it all to this generation's parenting, however. And even if you could blame it all on today's parent, it would seem that yesterday's parent didn't do a very good job raising us if we're messing up so badly that we're all to blame for our children's bad behavior. Does that make any sense? I believe there are many, many factors involved here. We're living in a very different world than it was even one generation ago. Parenting is not the same.

Secondly, my kids are well behaved in public (except the doctor's office for some reason. It never fails that they wacky there. Maybe it's all the waiting. Anyway...) and I never fail to get compliments from people when we're out. Also, I sometimes exaggerate (shocking, I know) to make a story a better read.

Finally, I'm not a perfect parent. Far from it. I make mistakes. I do things that in retrospect, were probably not the best ideas. Sometimes I'm just too tired to make them pick up and it's easier if I do it myself. Occasionally, I let something slide that I shouldn't. Now and then I lose my temper and yell like a maniac. But I always try to do what's right. I try to show my kids how to behave. I try to stay calm and let the natural consequences of their choices teach them. I try to apply punishments that fit the crime when need be. When Clay dumped sugar on my counter while helping me make cookies, he wasn't punished. He missed the bowl. He's three. Big deal. When he ran by the laundry basket, spilling clothes onto the floor, he had to pick them up. He ate all the chocolate from his advent calendar, now when all the other kids get a piece, he doesn't. His is gone.

How do you stay healthy when one of the kids is always getting sick? I have a sick daughter right now and one is enough...can't imagine more than one sick at the same time!! And then what would happen if mom gets it??

Moms aren't allowed to get sick, silly!

Dawn, I assume your husband reads your blog. Have you found that he is now tormenting you on purpose by smacking his lips, hitting his spoon on the bowl, and brushing while taking a tour of the house?

LOL! Noooo. I have discovered that the grossed-outedness I experience doesn't only happen when my husband eats. Apparently I don't like to hear anyone eat. I was at the library the other day, working on my book, when some girls sat down behind me and proceeded to open a bag of SunChips and chow down. Oh. My. Gosh. I had to leave.

It isn't my husband. Clearly there's something wrong with me.

OH MY WORD....Glad to hear we're not alone over here - my kids have been crazy - I felt like Monday I walked in circles thru a path of destruction. And the behavior - oh my - I'm chalking it up to the annual countdown to Christmas - as much as we try and keep it about Jesus' birthday, we can't seem to get away from getting caught up in the hype - my kids just become crazed lunatics this time of year. Hang in there girl!

December is always my kids' worst behavior month. Well, December and August actually. What makes it worse is you can't just send them outside to run off some energy. I let them play in the snow for a while, but they can't just stay out for hours playing. Everyone's tired of being cooped up inside and they're super crazy this time of year.

How fun was it to clean the blue out of that tub?!?

Crap! I was supposed to clean it???

You're the expert, please help me:
My SAH husband just called to ask if the ink from the ink pad I gave our 3 year old daughter will come out. I asked why and he said our DARLING 21 month old son got ahold of it and it's not only all over his face but the carpet and the couch too! I probably shouldn't have done this but I said, "Take pictures honey, this is great blog material." Then I said to try baby wipes because I've heard they take anything out of anything.
Any other suggestions? Our furniture had no blemishes before this.

Let me get this straight - you have a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old and your furniture has no telltale signs there are toddlers in your house? Seriously?

Do you think that when your kids are all grown up, that you will look back at all the mishaps they did and think to your self "I miss that"?

So they tell me, so they tell me...

Is it just me but has no one kind of wondered what she was doing by herself in a high chair long enough to pull this off....

Oh, you know - I went to the grocery store while she was sitting there, so she had a good hour and a half to do that. @@
I don't know about you, but I have yet to perfect the skill of watching six kids simultaneously for 24 hours straight. Plus, my husband kind of likes it when I do stuff like clean, make dinner, pay bills, and do the laundry. You must be amazing to be able to do all that and watch all your kids at the same time. I leave the little one in her chair to drink her milk while I change laundry. I'm just a slacker that way.

PS Yes, your drain is so shiny too, as noted by others. And is that a smoke detector on the side of your tub? (the white thing)

Uh yeah, well you never know when your bathtub might catch on fire. ???

I used to work for eBay customer support, and I just wanted to let you know that they are, indeed, real people. They use macros (automated responses that are programmed into their computers) to help them with the more common responses, because they usually work 3-5 at a time. It is an incredibly stress-filled job. I used to get so stressed before work that I would vomit. I hated that job, and I'm glad to be done with it.

I guess I didn't phrase that very well. Michelle did get a live person, but that person said that live help wasn't available to answer her question about eBay's TOS and charitable auctions. And yeah, that doesn't sound like a fun job.

As for the pencils, I understand...kind of. I've worked in a school for six years. As a teacher, I keep a stash of pencils for me and a stash for the kids. They are different brands so they don't mix. Basically, I use my own to avoid their germs because kids are known to put their fingers in there nose and who knows where else. I bleach their pencils at lunch and after school every day to cut down on germs, but I just feel more comfortable with my own. I allow the kids to use their own as well if they don't want to use the shared ones. With MRSA and whatever else is out there, people are scared.

Ahh, well that would make sense if these had been the teacher's personal pencils, however this was a cup of new, unsharpened pencils with the school's name imprinted on them, and they were set on a low table in the waiting area of the office.

I've been reading your blog daily since someone sent me the ebay auction over the summer. I am a queer activist mama of three and I babysit 4 other kids full time. We are not so different, which is why I read your blog. We have many of the same ideas about parenting and life and I look forward to reading your book (which I will have to get from the library because I can't afford to buy books!). I felt compelled to write because the Golden Compass book (and the entire trilogy) by Phillip Pullman is one of my all time favorites and I strongly feel that you should read it before suggesting an all out ban on it. Or the movie, or whatever. It's weird to be so in sync with a total stranger for so long and then have this glaring somewhat shocking reminder that maybe we are, in fact, too different after all. If your opinions on the film are any indication you probably think I'm some crazy homo sinner anyways so maybe it's for the best. So I guess we're breaking up. Sad, but thanks for the laughs.

Ummm, whaaaaat? I suggested an all out ban on The Golden Compass? When did I do that? I guess I'm writing things that I don't even remember now. Interesting.

I do have a question, I have more then one child who enjoys computer time. How do you make the time fair for each child? From the time my boys get up to the time they go to bed they fight over the laptop. My younger one is home more since hes only in preschool and is on it more. I just want less fighting over the time they are on it and could use some ideas. Thankyou.

Simple. I just never get off the computer to let them have a turn.

Actually, only my three oldest like to use the computer. If it's for homework, that child has precedence. If it's to play, they have to take turns. I suggest that they set a timer for 20 minutes. If I hear fighting over it, no one gets to play.

Question for a Sunday or anyone to answer: What "hit counter" do you like to use for your blog? I put one on my blog, but it's very basic and counts every hit even everytime I check to see how a post looks. I've made most of the hits so far :)

I use Statcounter. It has a lot of features that are cool, I guess. I've never really looked at them myself. It has a blocking cookie though so you can block your own hits and you don't inflate the numbers. (Don't I sound all technical like I know what I'm talking about? LOL!)

We are from a SMALL town in eastern Kentucky, so the big city is a real treat for us. I took Mom to Marshall's department store (is that the right name?). She had never been shopping anywhere bigger than a mall. She was fascinated by all the levels and the windows and the decorations. It was near Christmas, so you can imagine how beautiful it was.

That was a nice story and I'm sure a great memory for you, but you definitely didn't go to Marshalls. Marshalls is a bargain clothing type store. I'm sure you went to Marshall Fields (or Fields) which is was an awesome store. The one downtown always decorated their windows with a story. Sadly, we no longer have Marshall Fields in Chicagoland as it's been replaced with Macy's. : (

Oh -- and do you have a recommendation of good Greek or was it a pleasant dinner with friends or not somewhere you'd recommend to others? Discriminating palates want to know!

Greek Islands in either Lombard or Greektown is awesome. The Parthenon in Greektown is also yummilicous! In the suburbs, Yanni's or Greek Village Taverna are both good! Opa! (I'm not really a restaurant critic, but I play one on my blog.)

my question is this... i read your blog daily and i swear i am either losing my mind or some of your posts come then go, whats up with that???

I think you are losing your mind. I'm sorry.

What does it take to be a dork like you? (Besides having a "gillion" kids that is.}

Oh it would take years of practice to get as dorky as I am.

Ok, so you didn't tell us, did the water help with the dry mouth thing or is it just the fact that you are nervous a little?

It totally helped with the dry mouth. It did not help with the weak bladder, however.

You are going to L-O-V-E NYC!! It's a great city! Make sure you do the dorky touristy stuff like Rockefeller Center, Radio City, FAO, etc and a warning....do not eat food from a vendor named Salvador in Times Square, he sells hot dogs and various condiments for said dogs.......it wouldn't be a pretty trip. Otherwise enjoy coming to "my" coast!

Thanks for the tips!
Wow that is cool!!! I got to see some of Chicago which I am pretty sure (unless I miraculously win lotto) will never happen. Its funny though that you are complaining about the snow lol I have never seen snow ....ever.... I dont live where it gets cold enough to ever snow. We are sweltering here at the moment with the humidity, its about 80%. I cant wait till you go to New York I hope you do the tourist thing and take loads of pics. Are you going to New York on your own or with your hubby?

You can have my snow! Please! Really! Last night, it didn't snow. It iced. Sleet and freezing rain all night. In other words - everything was covered by a sheet of ice this morning. Everything!

And I'm going to NY by myself! Well actually, I'm going with my agent. LOL - it still cracks me up to say that.

You're gonna be in NEW YORK?
Let's do lunch!

As long as it's not at Salvador's hotdog cart.

Here's an update on Michelle's cheesy auction to benefit Julian:

The cheese has been bid up to $265.00 as of tonight! It's gotten 49 bids! People have made Paypal donations on Michelle's blog totaling $850.00! Wow! Thank you to all who have donated and to those who have said a prayer! This outpouring of compassion is amazing! This is what Mimi had to say...

Please, let your readers know that I have read every single comment they left on your blog. I appreciate them so much more than I could ever tell them.
This seems so unfair to Julian , but he still has a smile for me ,every time i look at him...
I will just be relieved when he is cancer free and with Our Father...I hate to see him hurt and become so limited in his mobility...
So again ,thank everyone for me...

Love
Mimi

And visit Mamaslike for great gift ideas like Scripture jewelry, scrapbooking DVDs, CDs to benfit cancer research, homemade goodies from Etsymoms, Christmas books, paper made from elephant poop, and much, much more!