UGH! What a fun few days I've had here. Spaz knocks over my neighbor's motorcycle, the kids are constantly fighting, yelling, and crying. And I've been doing nothing but following them around with a broom. Baby poured a bottle of baby wash on the carpeted floor of my room. Spaz grabbed a bag of Chex Mix by the bottom and dumped the whole thing on the floor. The baby proceeded to slurp the pieces up off the floor like a dog as I swept. Spaz also saw my iron setting out, picked it up, dumping out all the water, and asked me what it was. In all fairness, he was curious since he'd never seen the iron before, as I only iron maybe once a year. Really, who wants to drag out an ironing board? It's much easier to hang the clothing in the shower and blast the hot water to steam the wrinkles out, or even get out your hair straightener to put a crease in your clothes, or better yet - wear nothing but jeans and t-shirts and you never have to worry about ironing.
The baby did nothing but follow me around crying all day and Princess just took out toy after toy leaving behind a veritable mine field of playthings. The older kids fought with each other over the dumbest things. "Huh uh! Spiderman could fly way faster than Harry Potter." "You're wrong! Harry Potter has magic and he could kick Spiderman's butt!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Yes way!"
"Mooooom, who can fly faster, Harry Potter or Spiderman?"
Leave it to Spaz to lighten the mood a little. Just when the last little thread of patience was gone, Spaz came walking in my room with a little, pink, plastic Barbie purse over his head. He informed me it was stuck and he couldn't get it off. I pulled on the purse. It didn't budge. Aj pulled on it. It didn't budge. We both started yanking at this little plastic purse, but to no avail. It was totally stuck to Spaz's head. Aj gave it a last ditch effort and pulled so hard on the purse, that Spaz came up off the floor! Aj is standing there holding onto the purse that is so welded onto Spaz's head, that Spaz was lifted off the floor and still the purse didn't move. I grabbed a pair of scissors prepared to hear Princess whine as I cut her precious purse off Spaz's head when finally it came lose.
All I know is that I definitely do not get paid enough to put up with this stuff! And Back to School time can't get here fast enough!
I am working my way through your blogs, this is the second one to make me cry from laughing so hard. The first one was AJ's pickled kool-aid experiment. Boys are so freakin' funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm yet another of your crazed e bay fans. I've been reading through your blogs, and God bless you hunny! I have one daughter, she's 10 months old. Right now she's in the process of refusing a nap. And I'm complaining? Good lord, even with all this talk of what you go through daily.... But yea, so I keep waking my baby up with my laughing, and I wonder how you handle it. And still, all this really makes me want more kids. In particular boys. Boys that'll get bags stuck on their heads and laugh about being picked up by them. You rock!
ReplyDeleteOMG this is hilarious! I'm going to get in trouble for laughing at my computer at work...
ReplyDeleteI think it's hilarious that you took the time to take a picture! It must take a lot for you to panic. ;0)
ReplyDeleteI just have to say that you are a genius! Using your hair straightener to crease your clothes... I never would have thought of that! You are awesome!
ReplyDeletewell my dear hubby has informed me i am certifiable... as i have been sitting here reading from your first post to present with no intent of stopping ... and i have cried so hard (LAUGHING) that i ripped a contact, have drenced my glasses and sent him to bed with a rather slick kiss from laughing so hard i could not stop to even tell him good night.
ReplyDeletemy 19 year old was like your spaz or is that your spaz is like my 19 year old was and to some extent still is...
ohhhh while i am thinking of it to the lady whos brother put the help i've been kidnapped sign in the car windows... thank you! that was fantastic~!
anyway i love the spaz tales and i am sure i will see my son more and more as i read.
thanks again for making my night!
ohhh on the bright side my 19 yr old son is a new police man and has just gotten his first job so there is hope for your baby spaz
:-)
and, no his spazzy tales have not lessened so you have YEARS and YEARS of writing materal ahead of you!
I ansolutely LOVE this picture. The baby is standing there looking on nonplussed at the happenings, while a picture is being taken of the purse that won't let go of Spaz' head. I laughed until I cried. Every mom in this country can identify with the stuff you and your kids go through each day...PLEASE WRITE BOOKS!
ReplyDeletehearing about Spaz not being able to get the purse off his head just brought me back to the days of my brothers when they were younger! I laughed even harder seeing the pics! All I can say is even in all that chaos you are one lucky woman! Those kids will grow up to love you and respect you for what you have done for them!
ReplyDeleteI am crying...I can't stop laughing..the ribs hurt....I peed a little when I saw the picture:) ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahaha HA
ReplyDeleteand the look on the baby's face is priceless...she has no idea what you have brought her into.